@SomthinBoutSara: If you want me to save a horse and ride a cowboy, you better spare a tree and eat a beaver.
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@Reverend_Scott: JESUS: Happy Father's Day, Joe. [hands over present] JOSEPH: Wow, thanks Jesus. I wonder what it- [present is empty] [Jesus and God hi-5]
@Darlainky: My daughter showed me a beautiful handmade wind chime project on Pinterest. I told her, "I don't know who you think I am right now."
@BuckyIsotope: My rap name is Weapons of Mass Destruction because you go in thinking I'm going to destroy you but it turns out I've got absolutely nothing.
@AmishPornStar1: So, if he gets divorced for the third time... Does Melania get to keep the White House?