@joshgondelman: If you want to rob a white person, just say: "Stop, collaborate, and listen," then steal their stuff while they rap the rest of the song.
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@Stellacopter: One time my husband asked me to dance for him and I performed the entire Lion King musical to the best of my ability.
@KentWGraham: I’m glad we evolved from apes. If we evolved from chameleons, we’d constantly be walking into each other.
@mommy_cusses: Once upon a time, You weren't listening to the story mommy was reading to you so everyone in the book dies. The end.
@GrumpyBahr: Apparently not checking the mail is not a valid excuse for not paying your bills. The more you know.