@TFriss: If you watch Harry Potter backwards, Voldemort is really good at zapping people back to life and turning Harry into a baby.
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@dubiousrhetoric: Preowned Jaguar for sale. Beloved family member, excellent shape. Wife forced me to put her up for sale after she (the jaguar) ate the kids.
@therepoguy: My dog really needs to learn how to drive a stick because what good is fetching one bottle of vodka.
@RunwayDan: "What's your name?" "Who's your daddy?" "Is he rich like me?" These "reset your password" questions are getting kind of weird.