@vikkaroni: If you wondered if I was on the naughty list this year, I should probably tell you that the best gift I got was a packing peanut.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@VerifiedDrunk: Jill on Facebook is trying to find a way to get cat diarrhea out of suede boots and I don't think I'm hungry for lunch anymore. .
@cjwerleman: When Obama declared war on Ebola, an executive producer at Fox News tried to find it on google maps.