@jackie_ibbyxo: If you yell Bloody Mary into a mirror 3 times at 3AM, as loud as you can, your mom will appear and tell you to shut up and go to bed.
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@johngaysee: My dog and I have two things in common: We like burying our bones in other peoples backyards and fleas :-(
@Reverend_Scott: October 31st, 2187: Sugar is now illegal. Parents search their kid's Halloween bags to make sure the razor blades don't have candy in them.
@Cpin42: In the beginning, people laughed at my penguin army. No one’s laughing now. I’m receiving treatment and everyone’s been really supportive.
@QwertyJones3: [Trying to impress a cute girl with glasses] HER: So what kind of car do you drive? ME: A bookmobile.