@Lexxivy: If your boyfriend is ever about to break up with you, yell "what about the baby!" You'll be in a relationship for at least another 5 minutes
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Alex_N_Chains: Truthful Tuesday: The last time I had sex, I was so excited afterward I fired my musket skyward, alerting the Confederates to our presence.
@thestlouisan: [Delivery room] Her: I was thinking we could call him Rob Me: If we're naming him after felonies, why not just call him Arson, Linda?!
@lovemydogduck: Dear Santa, My ex was very naughty this year. But I was very good. So you can just send me all his presents.
@MarlonBrandNO: [Trapped on a Island] *Message in a bottle* "Please send help!" *Gets message back, months later* "Linda invited you to play Candy Crush"