@eye_spyder: if your brain produces saliva you have a patooey-tary gland thank you
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@CelebrityChez: Just saw a fly on my flight and all I could think was what a lazy piece of shit.
@CovertAgentP: Hollywood sets impossible standards we can never live up to. Not even once have I saved people from dinosaurs with my knowledge of Unix.
@LoveNLunchmeat: [Grand Canyon] *His screams echo as he falls to his death* OMG THE ACOUSTICS ARE AMAZING HERE! HOW IS THIS NOT A CONCERT VENUE?
@pmclellan: Despite my rock and roll lifestyle, I'm pretty sure I'm going to die via punctured gums from a tortilla chip.