@briangaar: If your cat is your "child," I bet its "grandparents" are "sad"
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@CopBroughtPizza: i'm reading this thesaurus. it's really interesting, or should i say... very interesting.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What does that cloud look like to you? 3-year-old: A cloud. Me: No, what do you imagine it could be? 3-year-old: Rain.
@MarieLoerzel: Sorry, I called you by accident. I was actually just trying to delete your number from my phone.
@shamans_heal: Pro Tip: If you leave an assortment of tissues, cold medicine, and a big bag of cough drops visible on your desk, coworkers will avoid you!