@briangaar: If your cat is your "child," I bet its "grandparents" are "sad"
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@stereoskyline: Procrastination has taught me how to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in 30 minutes.
@internetluke: [hears a baby crying on the train] Can somebody put that thing on silence please? "It's a baby.." ... "..." Vibrate?
@papasuncle: Me: Goodnight moon Moon: night. Me: What? Moon: nothing. It's fine. Me: You're acting distant Moon: I'm 238,900 miles away