@kyle_thatisall: If your girl says "Hey guess what!" you better already have your super excited blown away face picked out for whatever nonsense comes next.
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@MelKassel: Me: *staring into mirror* Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary *skeleton bartender appears and slides me a drink* SB: $8.50, $8.50, $8.50
@shariv67: They said I'd have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding my prince. I never found him, but I did find out I'm REALLY into frogs.
@Reverend_Scott: Quotes to calm an angry woman: 1. Stress makes you fat. 2. My ex never acted like that. 3. I love you, even if you're just like your mom.