@Boleyngirly: If your jokes are corny I'm all ears.
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@darrinfb: To the 11 year old girl on FB with the relationship status "it's complicated" How can it be complicated? Did he take your animal crackers?
@WheelTod: I once watched two guys arguing in sign language. Either that, or they were both really bad at martial arts.
@mydmac: There are 2 kinds of people in this world; 1. People who like math A. People who hate math 3. People who really don't understand math
@_PatDonovan: I tell all my ex girlfriends I just want them to be happy (happy was a golden retriever I saw get hit by a train in 1997)