@Boleyngirly: If your jokes are corny I'm all ears.
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@meganamram: Such a double standard that when a guy sleeps with a ton of people he's "cool," but when I do I'm "lying"
@ValeeGrrl: If you guys need me I'll be strutting confidently through a parking lot toward a car that turns out not to be mine.
@DanKCharnley: No matter what meal it is, always say you had "brunch" so people know how much better than them you are.
@novicefather: My wife said her new addiction is goji berries but I'd prefer she get addicted to something cheaper like cocaine.