@ingmarbirdman: If you're literally asking me to choose between our relationship and my obsession with pointing out doors to people, well, there's the door.
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@MikeCanRant: People wont mess with you if you eat a cup of yogurt and then smash it on your forehead because youre tough and have healthy bowel movements
@kiel_phillips: *Bee lands on flower covered in another flower's pollen* FLOWER: What's that? BEE: I can explain F: I don't want to hear your lies, Ian
@flashember: DISH FATHER: You can NEVER see that spoon again! *daughter dish starts sobbing* [outside the window, Spoon is thinking] we leave tonight