@wolfpupy: if your newborn baby has a full head of hair that means it is a business baby and is ready to enter the world of finance
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@TheBigBatman: Last year for Christmas I got a sweater, this year I am hoping for a screamer or a moaner.
@KenJennings: STAR WARS SPOILERS Admiral Ackbar has gained quite a bit of weight and everyone calls him "Admiral Snackbar"
@Adam14: When people say "Let's not get off on the wrong foot here", I reply "Please don't get off on either of my feet".