@seethenare: If you're a couple who sit on the same side of the booth, I'mma slide into the empty seat and eat your fries. Stop creeping everyone out.
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@robdelaney: I don’t “take” weed because weed “took” my best friend & trapeze partner Corton from me when we were 17. #ImissYouBrother #SwingWithJesus
@mattsurely: Oh really well you thought four inches was HUGE when we were talking about spiders.
@Try2StopME: He: That's a handsome dog. What's his name? She: Roger He: Does he bite? She: No He: How does he eat then?
@SortaBad: "wow this rap song is good I wonder who this is" *waits literally 4 seconds* "oh there look at that he said his name how convenient"