@seethenare: If you're a couple who sit on the same side of the booth, I'mma slide into the empty seat and eat your fries. Stop creeping everyone out.
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@djdarrellripley: Her: I'm leaving you and going to my mothers. Me: Hold on and I'll come with you. I like to have a good meal for a change...
@wolfpupy: no matter what the government says no one can stop you from eating the bugs you find in your garden
@jordan_stratton: Government: You owe us money. It’s called taxes. Me: How much do I owe? Gov’t: You have to figure that out. Me: I just pay what I want? Gov’t: Oh, no we know exactly how much you owe. But you have to guess that number too. Me: What if I get it wrong? Gov’t: You go to prison
@NurseSeymour: Waitress: need anything else? Me: yes, a cup of black coffee. W: and how would u like your coffee? M: uhhh..black and in a cup?