@Mr_Kapowski: If you're ambushed at night, technically you got pmbushed
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@_ethelbeavers: If you're pissed off about a non-white Santa Claus then I've got some very bad news for you about Jesus.
@Underchilde: I don’t think Twitter’s real. I think I’m in a mall in 1987 listening to “I Think We’re Alone Now” & my mind invented Twitter to protect me.
@CoopSoSarc: Hitting on women at this PTA meeting would probably be easier if I actually had a kid at this school.