@Mr_Kapowski: If you're ambushed at night, technically you got pmbushed
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@BigBec43: *does something weird* *looks around for witnesses* *sees no one* *does something weird, LOUDER*
@Rollmaninoz: *Drops son at preschool* Son: I love you daddy *tears up* *3pm picks son up* S: love you Ms H, love you stuffed toy Me: oh I see how it is
@JohnPoveromo: The iWatch is awesome because it's the fastest way to let everyone know you used to have 500 dollars.