@bridger_w: If you're behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you're not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
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@hero_ofthenight: If I worked at Starbucks I'd pull a Napoleon Dynamite every time. "I see you're drinking 2%, is that because you think you're fat?"
@BlindChow: WIFE: he never compromises ME: look, Sean Bean is either pronounced Shawn Bonn or Seen Bean it can't be both THERAPIST: (nodding) he's right
@thetits: HER: I'd invite you in, but I never kill on a first date ME: kill? HER: haha I meant kiss stupid autocorrect ME: we are talking out loud
@Contwixt: No one claims to like clowns, and yet there are clowns. What an evolutionary adaptive species they must be, clowns.