@bridger_w: If you're behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you're not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
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@Cheeseboy22: My wife told me we need a new bathroom scale a week ago, but today she let me know that it wasn't something she wanted for Valentine's Day.
@Teeter_Totter: I don't care how hardcore you are. If you don't cry when Dumbo visits his mommy in elephant jail, you have no soul.
@Home_Halfway: Raccoons wearing tiny little glasses, digging through trash and carefully reading nutritional information of any food items they find.