@Sarcasticsapien: If you're going to insult the Amish, do it to their face. You kinda have to. They're never gonna see it online.
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@KateWhineHall: Advice for life: 1. Be kind. 2. Be brave. 3. Make sure your garage door is all the way up before backing out.
@JessObsess: ME AS A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR: I signed you both up for Tinder *1 week later ME: You still want a divorce? THEM: OMG NO THAT WAS HORRIFYING
@SamuelHLowe: It's not working out because we like different things. For example, I like quiet evenings at home, and she likes someone else.