@markydoodoo: If you're havin AutoCorrect problems I feel bad for you son. I got 99 parabolas bit s butch Saint omg.
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@Amusitr0n: [Stonehenge] *Synth bass line* *hooded figure pops out* "Thiiiiis is hooww we Druuuiiid" *other hooded figures pop out* "It's Friday night"
@jackiembouvier: I bought a bathing suit yesterday and the automated voice said "unexpected item in bagging area".
@RadOrDie: I bet a lot more people would read the Bible if it was called The Adventures of Jesus and Friends.
@Reverend_Scott: [first date] Her: I like guys that are spontaneous. Waiter: Soup or salad, sir? Me: [maintains intense eye contact with her] SURPRISE ME