@MasterOfFury: If you're only18, please don't tweet philosophy and proverb verbiage based on your first love and the difficulty of your inexperienced life.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 3-year-old: *dumps Cheez-its on the floor* Me: What are you doing?! 3-year-old: Feeding the Roomba.
@Sarcasticsapien: I almost always wear black. Not because I'm depressed or trying to be all dark, but because I'm single and don't want to separate laundry.
@girl_a_whirl: You know you're a mover & a shaker when HR rewrites the dress code for you. Whatever Anita, those tear-away pants looked fabulous on me.
@AustinSommer: If you spin an oriental person around until they get dizzy, do they become disoriented? #LifeQuestions