@SondraDeeMe: If you're over the age of 5, and are trying to be cute by saying: sorry as: sowee - I will kick you in your pwivates.
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@mynameisntdave: What if all DJs decided at once to stop using the infamous air horn sound effect and started using the sound of an old man climbing stairs?
@elle91: A haiku to my boss who asked me to work this weekend: Ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha no
@max_pad21: I failed my Driver's test. Driving teacher: "What do you do at a red light?" Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."