@bazecraze: If you're thinking of getting a hairless cat, go the extra mile and get a catless cat.
@gonzohostility: Said she was gonna send a pic of her "backyard' . Turns out we weren't on the same page
@OneTrickTofani: "GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL"
"Sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse"
"Oh rad bring it in"
@heatherlou_: Enable location? Seriously, Twitter? Have you met some of these folks?
@rocknthepurple: I just wish I had someone who wanted to touch me as much as my shower curtain does.
@TheTweetOfGod: My last name is Zilla.