@punmagnate: If you're unsure if you're pregnant or not that's called a maby
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@mostunladylike: Mugger *shows knife* Crocodile Dundee "No this is a knife" *pulls out huge knife* Alanis Morrisette "Hang on" *sifts through 10,000 spoons*
@TheWoodenslurpy: Did you know that if you drop and break a piece of folk art, it just turns into more folk art?
@jenniferfralic: The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people.
@colonel_trilL: Soldier Dying on Omaha Beach. "dont forget to tell my wife i love her... and...and...honor me every year with a .....mattress sale."