@topaz_kell: If you're upset with someone, write down your feelings in a message.
Put the message in a bottle.
Hit them over the head with the bottle.
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@Soberphobiccc: Nothing says I have faith in God like the bullet proof glass on the Pope's car.
@theDanLawler: Pretty fed up with the fact that pandemonium almost NEVER involves pandas.
@SteveSuckington: "What if I tried to put a ball somewhere and you tried to stop me" -guy who invented sports
@SamuelHLowe: - Baby, I can't sleep. - And it was pissing you off that I could?
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Gonna teach a bunch of old white guys the word "bae" so teens stop thinking it's cool and it goes away forever.
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