@WhatevaConc: If you're wearing sunglasses & it's not at all sunny out, you can't get offended when I grab your arm to guide you safely across the street.
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@sammyrhodes: Do they make a scale that says things like "Those shorts probably weigh, what, like 15 pounds?"
@SardonicTart: "OMG why am I so sore?" *Flashback to me doing five push-ups yesterday* "Oh right."
@therealeatwood: [I wake up next to a fishing net full of salmon] But that means… [Cut to fisherman at sea, with my dreamcatcher full of howling goblins]