@Sally5977: If you’re wondering at what age you’ll stop messing up your life know that it’s not 40 and apparently not 50 either.
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@TheMichaelRock: You think 70 degrees yesterday and snow today is funny, Mother Nature? *empties 326 cans of hairspray outside* Knock that shit off!
@Elizasoul80: [trial] Judge: how do you plead? "not guilty" J: but you've admitted to dropping an anvil on him. "he asked me to make him a pancake"
@MafiaJoker78: ????My lactose-free, gluten-free, wheat-free, carb-free, nut-free, fat-free milkshake, brings all the weirdos to the yard...????
@iGreenMonk: There is a new app. that tells you how smarter your dog is. Here's how it works :- If you bought the app. your dog is smarter than you.