@zachreinert03: A good friend bails you out of jail, a best friend is sitting in the cell right next to you, a worst friend framed both of you for murder.

@byrdfacekilla: BUT GHOSTBUSTERS NEVER GAVE US THEIR NUMBER.

@frogbunnie: 6:There's a monster under my bed Me:That's silly! There's no such thi..OH GOD IT'S EATING MY ARM 6:SCREAMS ME:KIDDING it only eats kids

@Brianhopecomedy: You ever had garbage in one hand but you accidentally throw out the thing that you want in your other hand? LOL. Anyways, the baby's ok.

@Andee_Stewart: *popular kid is struggling in class *gets a tutor to help *Kool-Aid