@WilliamAder: If you've ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you've seen me wrapping Christmas presents.
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@garrettbarry70: Accidentally changed neighbor to neighbour and now I'm saying stuff like "bloody hell" and "brilliant"
@jonnysun: [taking atendance] teacher: jimmy jimmy: here teacher: susie susie: here teacher: (sighs) omnipresemt sentinel omnipresent sentinel: ａｌｗａｙｓ
@OBiiieeee: i thought i heard a dog approaching but it was just some hot girl's keys jingling. i fixed my hair for nothing
@jwoodham: DATING TIP: When your crush texts you, win them over by playing hard to get. Throw your phone in a river. Change your name. Move to Belgium.