@HatfieldAnne: If you've ever wondered how many days you can reuse the same lemon wedge in your water pitcher in the refrigerator, the answer is not 11.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DrDogMD: DR DOG: *applying a cast to a broken bone* Are you sure you don't just want me to cut it off?
@bridger_w: If I die in my sleep, my only request is that you fold me up in my futon and sell it on Craigslist
@Book_Krazy: A fun way to make someone self conscious, is to put a nose hair trimmer in their grocery cart while maintaing full eye contact with them.
@famouscrab: some babies are born premature but i was born very mature i just came out and i was like so what