@Jack_Wagon1: If you've never baked pot brownies in an Easy Bake Oven... then you've never wrote an apology letter to your sister with an Etch A Sketch.
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@noduffers: If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it.
@robyn_vo: Dad: HEY come here, did you go to school with this guy on tv? Me: Dad, that's Spongebob Squarepants Dad: Must've been in your sister's class
@ehdannyboy: "Take it with a pinch of salt," my dad always used to say. Lovely man. Made horrible tea.
@imteddybless: [cool person follows me] me: ok I gotta bring my A game now it's only good tweets from here me 5 mins later: horses r just big dogs ?