@Jack_Wagon1: If you've never baked pot brownies in an Easy Bake Oven... then you've never wrote an apology letter to your sister with an Etch A Sketch.
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@iwearaonesie: i'll never forget what mom said when dad told her he thinks we're growing up too fast "they're in there daring each other to eat dog food"
@WrongPandas: [at funeral] Me: "I'm sorry your husband died in that boating accident in Venice" Widow: "please no.... Me: "you have my gondolances"
@zachreinert03: One of my buddies lost his right arm in a car accident which is a huge bummer, so much money wasted on tattoos
@andylassner: In Japan, they are celebrating their position as the most educated country in the world. Here in America it's National Cheeseburger Day.