@_Prozach74: Ignorance is only bliss until you wish you knew the answer
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@PortRooster: Niece (4): Uncle, what do you get if you mix blue and purple? Me: Blurple. *She walks away satisfied and amazed at all the things I "know"
@FattMernandez: I saw a car with "Wash Me" written on it, so I set it on fire. I'll be damned if I'm going to allow cars to become sentient!
@Schmoodles: Arguing with religious people is like trying to explain quantum mechanics to a potato.
@13spencer: A hot girl in the hallway just smiled at me, but don't worry; I yelled "I'm taken," and ran into the men's bathroom where she can't follow.