@: Ikea meatballs pulled from shelves because they contain horse meat. Man, that's the last time I buy meatballs at a furniture store.
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@afbradstone: Today I heard a guy on the street say, "It's chowder season, baby!" so I pushed him in front of a bus because those are awesome last words
@OhReallyRach: If cupids didnt have wings, theyd just be fat little baby assassins with crossbows.
@DanMentos: "Bob's here" Bob from work or Bob THE HARBINGER OF DEATH *an icy wind blows as black clouds consume the sky* "Bob from work" *clouds recede*