@TheWriteStuff2u: I'll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one.
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@DillDoes: Monkey: "We're not so different" Me: "Did that monkey just talk to me" Monkey: "Monkey noise" Me: "Did it just say 'monkey noise'?"
@Ygrene: Cop: was it you who stole all the anti-perspirant Me: *not sweating* Cop: well shit I don't know how to read this
@OhNoSheTwitnt: My dad said he couldn't get into Game of Thrones because he doesn't like fantasy so I asked him when he was going to stop watching Fox News.