@TheWriteStuff2u: I'll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one.
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@JoshontheGo: I'm at my most "penguin", when I'm walking to get more toilet paper with my shorts around my ankles.
@TheMichaelRock: Breaking News: Radio Shack is closing 1,100 stores nationwide. Even Breakier News: I can't believe there's 1,100 Radio Shack's.
@Anon_o_Mom: My husband accidentally texted mewting instead of meeting. Now I can't stop picturing a bunch of kittens in a conference room.