@rickolantern: I'll bet when two cannibals get trapped in an elevator going to lunch, around the fifth minute, things start getting a little weird.
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@Brianhopecomedy: A guy that was falsely imprisoned for 10 years got free tickets to the Super Bowl. That guy is SO lucky.
@jenniferfralic: Remember to horrify your friends and family by testing out your tweets on Facebook today
@VestaTot: My coworker just took a broom and pole vaulted over the cubicle partition to confront the woman who accused her of being on speed.