@rickolantern: I'll bet when two cannibals get trapped in an elevator going to lunch, around the fifth minute, things start getting a little weird.
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@TheToddWilliams: [School band tryouts] ME: They say I have perfect pitch TEACHER: Oh really? Show us what you got *I throw a baseball right into the tuba*
@KeetPotato: me: "im confused, run that by me again" doctor: "you do not need to bring your cat to the hospital, that's just what we call the machine"