@envydatropic: I'll bring a knife to a knife fight because I have common sense. Idiots.
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@Vijaytiwari1611: Knock, Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!"
@PuckingItUp: Nothing says "I'm a shitty parent but at least I'm rich" like giving your 2 year old an iPad.
@Dildo_Hitler: Bruce Willis reaches for his iPhone but accidentally grabs his iPad and screams because he thinks he's shrunk
@click4amanda: Why do they write PIZZA all over the box???? what else could possibly be in there???