@LindaInDisguise: I'll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.
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@JohnLyonTweets: Three things you should not watch being made are sausages, laws, and your little brother.
@Nikkeya08: Me:*looks up from phone* Okay, it was Mr. Plum in the ballroom with the wrench. Family: M: Mom: We stopped playing that game 5 hours ago.
@jonnysun: JUDGE: put ur hand on this book and promise not to lie PERSON WHO IS IN COURT LITERALY FOR LYING ABOUT THINGS: uh...... ok
@samalmightysam: -Knock Knock! -Who is it? -The love of your life. - :) Really? -Hahahaha no, it's the pizza you ordered.