@Joe_Schmuck: "I'll Knock You Into Next Week" have black mothers invented time travel? Details at 11. #ABCReports
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@Perfect_Beanis: in 2001 i was in a coma dying from meningitis and someone played "in the end" by linkin park and i woke up to tell them to turn it off
@MrAdamBez: If there isn't a Chinese millionaire that's changed their name to Cha Ching, then I don't see the point of money.
@ItsAndyRyan: Convince neighbours you're shrinking by walking past their window with progressively larger jars of hellmann's mayonnaise.
@david8hughes: [first day as aquarium guide] Me: & here's 8 snakes biting a soccer ball Guy: that's an octopus Me [sighs]: fine. 8 snakes biting an octopus