@iLikeCatShirts: I'll sleep when I'm dead but also every night so I don't die.
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@GrantTanaka: We should probably abolish the death penalty since we don't even get to throw rotten vegetables at people anymore
@JasonLastname: If you ever get hit by a car, try to spin like a ballerina. You won't get another chance like this.
@cheeky__gal: After decorating the house, I spilled cheap vodka on some glitter and dirt I was sweeping up. Now, my house looks like Ke$ha.