@FredPollack: I'm 72 minutes in trying to reverse whatever my 3 y/o nephew did in one second to the TV remote.
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@PaperWash: Caught my son smoking pot then my wife walked in and caught me and our son smoking pot. Anyways I'm grounded.
@dril: glorious crime spree after being fired from wal mart., expertly hopping fences, chugging all the seeds out of my neighbors bird feeders,
@ibid78: [me after 1 minute of jogging] this is good, this was a good decision [me after 3 minutes of jogging] life is suffering, there is no god