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@BlindVigil: I'm a champion of grammar;
A grampion, if you will.
@Brampersandon_: *catches son swearing through sign language*
"We don't use that language in this house"
*hands him hand sanitizer*
"You know what to do"
@afbradstone: Today I heard a guy on the street say, "It's chowder season, baby!" so I pushed him in front of a bus because those are awesome last words
@Ellierocks2013: Whatever, low battery indicator. You're not the boss of
@skullmandible: most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns
@Spaziotwat: [On The Cross]
Jesus:"Father, forgive them, fore they know no-"
Voice from the crowd:"DO THE WINE TRICK"