@shutupmikeginn: I'm a club photographer, I take pictures at the club and people pay me to delete them
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@psychogoddess: How is it when my son has homework,I have to be involved?? Dude,I already did my time.
@sofarrsogud: WHAT I SAID: Woah! You look like Tina Turner on meth. WHAT I SHOULD'VE SAID: Good Morning Honey.
@Cheeseboy22: My son is petrified of thunder. I told him that is ridiculous, it's the lightning that will kill him.
@ClichedOut: *delivers baby* *delivers baby* *delivers baby* *delivers baby* *delivers baby* Nurse 1: I'm exhausted. Nurse 2: I hate Labor Day.