@dance_blessed: I'm a low maintenance girlfriend. Just bring me a bouquet of cats.
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@stephenjmolloy: Doctor: "You have lost a lot of blood." Me: "That's not good." Doctor: "It's not. You are the worst manager this blood bank has ever seen."
@jazmasta: "Please. I need this" I whisper as a 14 year old girl starts to get the better of me in an arm wrestling match.
@JODYHiGHROLLER: i NEVER VOTED FOR A PRESiDENT BECUZ iF iM GUNNA WASTE MY GAS THEN iT BETTER BE ON SOMETHiNG iMPORTANT LiKE DRiViNG TO CHiCK-FiL-A
@GrantTanaka: son: hey dad me: [picks up phone, dials 9] yes son: now don’t get mad me: [dials 1] ok son: do we have a fire extinguisher me: [dials 1]