@PyrBliss: I'm a pretty law abiding citizen, but overweight and out of shape security guards really make me want to test their commitment to the job.
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@SamReidSays: Dogs are probably really excited about dog sledding before they find out what it actually is.
@envydatropic: I'm buying a gallon of organic milk and now I don't know how to tell my family that I'm out of money for Christmas gifts
@edfoxcomedy: "On your 1st day, find the biggest guy, and punch him in the face to show you're in charge." - my advice to new teachers