@reczit: I'm afraid of people who keep smiling all the time. I feel like they still have plenty of space left for more bodies in their basement.
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@therealeatwood: JONATHAN EDWARDS: God abhors a sinner and holds him over the flames of hell like some loathsome insect LOATHSOME INSECT: Wow I’m right here
@jimmytorosian: *Buys map of world, pins it up on wall* *Throws dart, swears to visit wherever it lands* *Visits the middle of the Atlantic Ocean*
@MattMcElaney: "...any reason why these 2 should not be married, speak now or..." They're engagement photo only got 21 likes on Facebook! *crowd GASPS*