@ericaj1721: I'm always behind the person at McDonald's who acts like they've never seen the menu in their life
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@AdviceFromDino: Asked for Cheez-its Wife buys Cheese Nips Now she's sitting in the corner thinking about what she did.
@adamhess1: So glad I finally got around to correcting that spelling mistake I made to the girl I fancied 8 years ago
@jferg1616: Boss: "We are all going to have a bunch of Red Bull, bust out the chest of Adderall, be laser focused for about 4 hours, then die."