@ericaj1721: I'm always behind the person at McDonald's who acts like they've never seen the menu in their life
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@djdarrellripley: Her: Remind me if I'm ever on life support, not to have you in charge of pulling the plug. Me: Yea, like I could get in front of that line.
@onion_an: Son: Dad can sand melt? Me putting down my glass: Don't be ridiculous of course it can't