@13spencer: I'm always punctual, which is why I hope to be cremated and used in an hourglass.
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@TrendsZim: Zimbabweans have dismissed Mugabe rumour saying "Mugabe cannot have a heart attack. He doesnt have a heart."
@Donna_McCoy: Just go ahead and put "She always had to pee" on my tombstone, because that's how everyone's going to remember me.
@Cheeseboy22: If you're wondering what all these scratches on my chest are from, it's because my cat hates to get in the hot tub with me.
@GeriatricBeards: [Being kidnapped] Me: i can feel it.. Stockholm syndrome kidnapper: its been 10 minutes me: should we invite your brother to the wedding?