@MaraWilson: I’m always surprised how long disco and early ‘80s dance songs are, until I remember cocaine
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@Darlainky: "Sorry about this, but I ran out of allergy medicine and it's spring," I say to the frightened pharmacy clerk through my hazmat suit.
@donni: Shout out to people who block me cuz it hurts their feelings I occasionally fav them without following. You can also just ask me to stop :/
@bombsydoll: *sees guy having a heart attack* me: quick somebody push a cookie in his mouth! person: isn't that for diabetics? me: it's what I would want