@mountainlex: I'm always surprised when heavily tattooed couples have a baby and it comes out blank
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@SortaBad: Me: hi :) Woman at bar: it's loud in here, I'm sorry, did you just say "colon closed parentheses" ???
@JanineEB4: My biggest regret to date is probably never telling Kary C, Kerri B, Cari R and Kerry L from 4th grade that their names were spelled wrong..
@audipenny: [god, creating ducks] Just like put a surfboard mouth on a big pigeon and make it like a loud idiot. I don't know
@DanLaMorte: I look at beautiful girls the same way I look at traffic. Meaning that I'm stuck and going nowhere with them