@mrtruthandsoul: I'm always two drinks away from digging up my backyard to look for dinosaur bones
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@bholejuice: When my wife picks a restaraunt that I don't like, I just say "oh yeah, that's where that really cute girl works". Problem solved.
@Steelers1972: Took the batteries out of the smoke detector to use in my remote cause I would rather die in a fire than have to get up & change the channel
@hazelmotes1: Mom: *tastefully decorates house* Kid: HERE ARE 20 MILK CARTONS I TAPED TOGETHER TO MAKE A SNOWMAN I EXPECT THIS TO BE PROMINENTLY DISPLAYED