@DBMaxP: I'm an adult. I can eat a cupcake for breakfast & call it a muffin if I want
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@NoTheOtherJohn: Me: Jesus. Get the kids inside Wife: What's wron- Me: *running* JUST GET THE DAMN KIDS INSIDE [a bee flies off of the lens of my binoculars]
@jwoodham: Don't listen to people who tell you not to stay up late. They're just trying to trick you into being a well-rested person who isn't anxious.
@bingowings14: Reduce your kids intake of sugary, fizzy drinks by shaking up the can before handing it to them.
@Vice_Queen: Please stop telling me how you wish you had my curly hair. You don't know the struggle of waking up looking like Mufasa.