@DurtMcHurtt: I'm as useless as the top two buttons on a Greek mans dress shirt.
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@shopkins776: I never make New Year's resolutions. I just carry the ones over from the previous year and add "This time I'm serious"
@gringothespice: My wife punched me during sex last night. Probably a good idea that my mistress and I do it at her place next time.
@dongfuture: Telepathy “Huh?” Telepathy “Ok…let’s move on. What—” Telepathy “Please stop interrupting! What are your strengths?” *rolls eyes* Telepathy
@aksorojas: I'm scared of buying an iPhone X cos there's a chance mine might get swapped with Brad Pitt's and since we look 100% alike he can unlock it