@Vice_Queen: I'm at a second grade music recital and this is by far the most effective form of birth control I've ever tried.
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@meganamram: party idea: "DUI or IUD?" u can only invite people who have one or both and u CAN'T divulge which
@cjcapbt: I'm just like Bob Marley but not black or Jamaican or talented or dead but my hair gets tangly .
@krissywillbretz: [god creating raccoons] Angel: what do I do with all the leftover tiny people hands? God: hand me those cats.