@Ideal_Victoria: I’m at a stage in my life where I know I should workout and eat healthy, but swallowing a tapeworm seems easier.
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@OtherDanOBrien: [Bomb will explode in 26 seconds] *googles "how to defuse a bomb"* *clicks top result* *it's a 17-page slideshow.* GODDAMMIT *an ad plays*
@BuckyIsotope: Kanye goes to law school just so he can yell THE DEFENSE WESTS YOUR HONOR and moonwalk out of the courtroom. The defendant is executed.